ESCAPING FORM

My soul has a body. 

ESCAPING FORM. MY SOUL HAS A BODY, 2021
Casted silicone, plexiglass, acrylic paint, fabric, fiberglass and wood. 70” x 98” x 23”

‘Escaping Form’ is a collection of three sculptures that narrate my wish for all the limiting physical representations of myself (body/clothing/aesthetic/language) to disappear, so I can freely exist as an endless and infinite being. Fueled heavily by my own gender dysphoria, creating this collection led me to a powerful relief and reassurance found in changing my own physical appearance via sculpture. This revelation inspired and empowered me to begin my own gender transition, which was poetically fulfilled within one week of finishing the collection. On one level, ‘Escaping Form’ was building a compromise for my real life body to feel at peace, while at the same time creating a dream getaway where my soul doesn’t compromise with anything at all.

Deeper exploration:

Finding it almost impossible to carry on with my days, ironically this art collection started to be conceived. Just the act of getting dressed in the morning would sent me into a spiraling anxiety.

‘I can’t represent my true self, not with clothing, not with this body, not with this limited physical representation…… Because I am endless and any compromising makes me weak.’

I spent hours resting my head on the row of hangers, feeling hopeless, contemplating my impossible existence. The only thing that would relief the anxiety would be to imagine my body disappearing and becoming an infinite and expanding black circle. This meditation would send me into a peaceful healing place, where I learned that even though I carry a physical existence, I as well exist in that endless energy form, as do we all.

Fueled heavily by my own gender dysphoria, creating this collection led me to a powerful relief and reassurance on what I needed to feel at peace. I had been dreaming about top surgery for a long time, but it had been just living in my head, sort of hiding, sort of maturing. Until I started sculpting my body out of clay, and the confrontation was right there at my fingertips. I had sculpted boobs and placed them on my clay chest. My heart was hurting. Nothing ever felt more wrong. I knew what I had to do…for the sculpture and for myself. I ripped them out and stared at my flat clay chest, and nothing ever felt better. After experiencing such a moment of relief I felt prepared to begin my transition. 

Concept, Direction, Design, Construction: SiiGii (@is_siigii)
Photography: Sacha Perlstein (@sachaperlstein)